The Space Before
This stillness may only last a few seconds, yet it contains a universe.
In university, we used to write exams in a massive gymnasium.
The entire floor was lined with tables and papers, and proctors circled around like the human equivalent of CCTV cameras.
I was in a fairly large program in my university, which meant that when I wrote an exam, so did several hundred other students. Hence, the gym.
The thing I remember more than any of the exams themselves, was the waiting room. The small and very cramped hallway facing the series of closed doors that led to the gym.
The space before the exam.
Every time we had an exam in the gym, hundreds of us attempted to fit into this hallway.
The behaviour of students in this hallway was patterned.
Some were lying down, buried in notes, almost trying to bathe themselves in last-minute knowledge.
Some would stand around stoically waiting, with one of those endless stares.
The worst ones, in my opinion, would be the ones talking out loud about all the concepts on the exam, which would should send a shockwave of nerves around to those listening, making them question their own knowledge of the concepts being discussed.
Some, like me, would be wearing headphones, just making simple eye-contact, with maybe the occasional fist bump.
**
In professional tennis, the space before the match is the tunnel.
In all grand slam events, this tunnel is truly an experience. It might be lined with names, dates, and pictures of previous grand slam winners, or it might have an iconic quote like this:
Pressure is a privilege
- Billie Jean King (Quote on the plaque at the end of the tunnel at Arthur Ashe Stadium)
When players enter the tunnel, their teams who have been with them up to this moment, leave to their their seats in the players’ respective boxes. The players are left to be alone, with each other.
Most players are silent here. Headphones on, hoodies up, endless stare out to the court. Rafael Nadal was famous for sprinting and running around, as shown in this clip (This was taken at the French Open, a tournament he won 14 times, which earned him the title, “The King of Clay.”).
**
If you look at your own life, you will always find a space before a big moment.
Perhaps not even that big. Maybe you’ve got a lot to do today, so the space before may simply be your own bed, where you lie awake in the morning waiting for the spark of courage that will magically move your feet to the floor.
What happens for you, when you enter the space before?
In this space, I often face a giant mirror. Not a trick mirror, or a broken mirror, a simple mirror.
Of all the obstacles I’ve had to overcome while preparing for this particular moment, the mirror presents me with the final, and often the biggest one.
Self-doubt.
So in the space before, when I’m staring at the mirror, how I will I respond?
Will I flip my hood up and look down? Will I lie down and try to bathe myself in last-minute comforts? Will I stare endlessly ahead? Will I run around like a caged animal?
The answer to the question that meets us in the space before, will dictate how we show up in the moment after.
